Eighth Entry in the Charles Daniels Unauthorized Programme Guide O' Revolution Special Thanks to me for reusing some of my own old material and making this a lot easier Serial H - The Reign of Error - Episodes: 1. A Land of Beer 4. The Tyrant of Pants 2. Guests of Madame Georgie 5. A Bar Tab of Necessity 3. A Change of Sexuality 6. Prisoners of Counterfeit The TARDIS lands in a swampy slimy dirty pond. The Doctor ASSURES them that they've landed in some sewage water in England 1963 but they don't believe his story that they've landed in the Thames. They are in fact two miles from Philadelphia, during the Revolutionary War where both King George and George Washington are enforcing and fighting a Reign of Error. Walking into the city they are surprised to find a large horde of drunken colonists who spend far too much time placing women's knickers on lines and trading them back and forth. The cover story is that it is a secret code to confuse the British however when confronted most of them admit they don't really have any such code but it would be a really neat idea and gives them some excuse to go about stealing women's dirty washing. Due to the disturbing and disgusting nature of the town's people it does not take a long time for the Doctor to get entangled in local events and separated from his companions. While Barbara, Ian, and Susan do something sensible and get imprisoned as rebel spies immediately, the Doctor takes on the role of a government official. He is able to fool everyone into thinking he is a man of important status in the Colonies by wearing a Gingham Dress, speaking in a slurry accent and being followed around by a blonde woman in a leather cat suit. Using his elderly looks and disposition he convinces George Washington, who is actually a wild eyed Texan much to everyone's surprise, that his battle plans for Independence might just be helped if he started to attack the British troops. At first skeptical George (or, as his friends know him, Georgie Baby) starts to actually win battles. While he is away the Doctor poses in his place in many paintings, one of which is used as the basis for the One Dollar Bill. While enjoying being the mastermind of the American Revolution he totally forgets his companions who are left to break out of jail themselves and join a group of rebels who still aren't convinced this whole "attacking the enemy" scheme will work. Thankfully when they all meet to discuss their actions they get confused and kill each other thus wiping out a rather confusing hindrance to the Revolution. Overlooking a beautiful expanse of open country and planning to build America's first shopping center complete with fancy dress shops, beauty parlours and a Dog Psychiatrist's Office, the Doctor is kidnapped by his companions who force him back to the TARDIS against his will. After pleading that he be allowed to stay as he can help the revolution, establish a more perfect union of democracy and freedom and MOST importantly spend more time with the blonde woman in the leather cat suit, his companions allow him to hand over some of his plans for America's future to his new and trusted friend Benedict Arnold who seems very eager to look them over right away. The Doctor then travels to 1966 New York and is arrested for passing off counterfeit bills that show a Marty Feldmen look-alike instead of the real George Washington. Book(s)/Other Related - Doctor Who And The Reign of Error The Declaration of Independence: Remastered Edition Politics And You - An Express Guide To Apathy Fluffs - Hartnell seemed confused for most of this story "I see you haven't heard the naa..naaa..nevermind I haven't heard it either" "Hmmm..hmmm...walk like an encryption..." "You think just because King George is fighting the British soldiers that George Washington will give them their freedom?! I dare say not! Indeed he's a looney and besides he's not sane." Fashion Victims - Ian's comment on Barbara's hair "Damn! Did A cat die?" Goofs - The Doctor can be heard humming "Walk Like An Egyptian" well before the TARDIS appears in the pond. When the TARDIS does land the sound of a toilet flushing replaces the usual materialization sound effect. The knickers found by Ian on the clothesline after he escapes fit him perfectly. The dying prisoner tells Ian about "The Drunken Bastard Inn" and his friend Jim Bob Greenbo, however Ian remembers "The Mermaid's Naughty Bits Tavern" and Lucy Lacy. Ian refers to everyone in this story by the name of various famous porn stars, seemingly at random with no justification given as to why. This story is not only historically inaccurate, it is hysterically obscene. Dialogue Disasters - INSANE REBEL: Right! So it's agreed, none of this 'attacking the enemy' nonsense, and back the good old fashion killing each other...right....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! IAN: Can't we all just get along? SUSAN: So wait, you say if I join your silly little revolution I get to blow things up? Right, I'm game. SUSAN: (Patronizing) Ohhh! I'm sorry did I crack your little bell??? HAHAHA!! Take this buster!!! Dialogue Triumphs - THOMAS JEFFERSON: I say my dear Doctor, I've finished the first draft of my "Declaration Of Being Independent From The British Wankers And the Reasons Why We Wish To Be" and I think it's rather good, let me read you some excerpts... THOMAS JEFFERSON: ...there comes a time in the course of human events to say "British Wankers? Who needs them??".... THOMAS JEFFERSON: ...every man has the inalienable rights to freedom, liberty, and the pursuit of kinky sexual relations with interns, we find these rights to be pretty damned obvious. The story ends with a mug shot scene of the cast and the now famous Doctor voice over: "What we did was pretty bad, someone's going to have to pay for it, someone's going to end up in prison for a long long time and it isn't going to be me..." References and Links - Reference is made to the Doctor's previous attempts to get Barbara and Ian back to England ('Michael Palin'), the cell reminds Barbara of their imprisonment in 'An Unruly Child', she says she remembers how to use explosives 'The Lab Techs', it is no surprise she remembers as it was just the other week! And most importantly all four of them, Ian, Barbara, The Doctor, and Susan comment "how could we ever forget the Masochists of Leather!" (see Rumors & Facts) Rumors & Facts - For the Season One ender it was decided that something really special should be done, and yet they made this anyway. Luckily, this is one of partially missing stories that was burnt when 'BURN IT' was taken over by extremely incompetent pyromaniacs who sadly forgot to burn episodes One through Three. Episode Six was later recovered on a small Greek island, which was then immediately sunk into the sea to prevent any chance of further recoveries. For years rumors would float around claiming this story was a wonderful classic, money would be handed out, books and magazine articles written and to some degree it was a special story. For instance it differs from earlier historicals as it actually takes place during well known historical events instead of just with a bunch of weirdos in the 1980s. This story also caused great confusion due to the scene where the cast reminiscence at length and with loud laughs between each other about a story that was never shown, The Masochists of Leather. The Masochists of Leather was to be the second story in the series that was then pushed back to make room for The Dustbins and pushed back again and again until it could no longer be used. Unlike the Reign of Error the Masochists of Leather was an intriguing and very interesting story which would have been hailed as a classic, and I'm not just writing this because I happened to have owned the company that was to provide the costumes for the Masochists but as a completely objective writer of this programme guide! True the Reign of Error DID get on the air with those god awful costumes that were designed by my vile competitor Shawcraft! Shawcraft's men mishandle more than their over price props I can assure you! It's all well documented I assure you, I just don't have the documentation at hand. Anyway, the blurb for the Masochists, the story that should have been made, is: "The Wait is Over...A dark and silent leather parlour...a magnificent crystal 'edifice' if you know what I mean and I think you do, perched and ready for action. A legion of dormant masochists, waiting for the stinging to make them scream. The Doctor, his granddaughter Susan, and their reluctant companions, Ian and Barbara, are about to unleash forces which with threathen their very sanity by just being TOO MUCH fun." Anyway, it is not known precisely WHY this scene was in the Reign of Error making reference to the Masochists of Leather. Some people believe that the story was written under the assumption that this story would have aired after the MoL, other speculate that it was written in during some earlier draft and it was a mere oversight. My personal theory, the correct one, is that this scene was written in to confuse the audience and allow for the creation of a series of books about the Missing Adventures of Doctor Who in precisely 30 years time to be published by Virgin and then later by the BBC itself. This shows the amazing foresight that the series had, except in those cases where episodes were burnt or lent out to shows like "Red Handed Thieves Hour" or "Finders Keepers".